Shortly after the book came I was clearly guided to open a new and very challenging chapter of my life. Roman, Darby, Paul and I soon each followed separate paths that has put us since for the most part several thousand miles from each other with little ongoing cohesiveness to keep us in touch. The last time I saw Roman, some weeks after the arrival of the book, he looked into my eyes and told me that the book actually came for me and that eventually I would be the first person who would have a complete understanding of its meaning and purpose.
Once again, everything in my world started to disappear…first my cell phone (a lousy $9.00 dollar payment that would not stick, no matter how I tried to make it!), then my computer (every new hard drive crashed until I gave it away where it ran just fine for years except when I tried to borrow it back!), my home (not again!#?), my car (pryed out my grasp as I doggedly sought to hang on to it, dodging police, engine failure and snowballing insurance/ parking issues!) and finally my bank account canceled itself. (this is too much!…I am drawing the line here!…well….ok then.)
Early each morning I would quietly slip out my night’s shelter that somehow always showed up seemingly without much effort, provided randomly by generous friends, family and even complete strangers. I would set out with my back pack and my precious Feeling God vade mecum, curious and reflective about my new set of circumstances and changing direction of my life.
One particular day as I was walking along a beach, figuring how to wisely spend the remaining $5 dollars in my pocket for daily sustenance, the rootlessness and vacuum of my life seemed just too much. I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness and futility looming. I sat down and opened the book at random to regain some equilibrium. My eyes fell on #245:
You are in the embrace of god. You are home, and home is within you.
As I read those words a warmth, comfort and inner homecoming as deep as I had ever known filled my entire body. It has never left since.
In the Spring of 2009, events parallel to those three years earlier started to unfold again in my life. The book stirred to life once more. I was roused in the middle of the night to record an audible voice that dictated a verse I knew was a continuance of this revelation for my road ahead. I read the previous ending, #344, and added #345 to start an new chapter in the book:
344. To those who would choose to feel god, the work in this book can be transforming to light but it is not the only book to do this.
345. Allow and prepare for the new children to come and the sacred kiss shall bring hope for the new corn. (March 23/09)
This time it was different. Darby and Roman’s inner light was not needed directly for me to receive this continuing truth. This was truth specifically and personally tailored for me. I also knew we were entering the time that the prophet Jeremiah told of some 2500 years ago.
No longer will a man teach his brother saying, ‘Know the Lord’, because they will all know me from the least of them to the greatest.
I knew this ongoing truth came from my inner Light to guide me home to the Source that resides in my own heart. I know I will also find there was never a time that I was away from Home.
For some this book can be a thread to spur their own unique verses and direction coming straight from their own heart’s clear dictation. In a way this text offers to be a trunk of one of many huge trees into which branches of individual inspiration and creativity can be grafted, blossom and bear abundant fruit to sustain them and their world.
We are in a time when community and spiritual leadership quietly are slipping away in deference to a rising of each individual’s clear inner voice of truth for their own personal path. From here, each of us needs to be our own teacher, leader, parent and friend and allow those beside us the same freedom. This book was given to me as a generous and spontaneous gift. Should this opportunity speak to your heart, I offer it freely to you for the asking.
Sequel written from Sedona, Arizona ~ May 2009, September 2012
Does this remind you of a personal story or account you have heard about or read? I look forward to hearing from you.